Sometimes I wonder what things would have been like if we’d found a blog like this one when we first began having questions about our church. I remember how much it helped us when we discovered Kevin Reeves’ “The Other Side of the River.” His situation wasn’t exactly the same as ours, but there were enough parallels to make us sit up and realize we weren’t alone. His key point – “Our personal spiritual experiences alone cannot be used to validate truth” – was probably the one thing that cut through the fog and made us think. So maybe this site will do the same for someone else.

No, it wasn’t just you. We took the site private for awhile, because we felt like we’d sort of run out of things to say. But now we’re back. We may not post as much as we used to, but we figure that people still might find some of the older pieces helpful.

The problem is, I went from one extreme to another. I just left a church that I attended for two years. This church was very big on exposition of scripture through whole books of the bible. I knew I wouldn’t be there long, but I did not know why at first. I learned that scripture interprets scripture, and I have learned so much more on my own by getting into the word and asking the Lord to give me understanding. But they lacked faith, unless you conformed to what they wanted for you. You had to be “obedient” to the leadership even if it contrasted with what you believed God wanted you to do (and you were not going against scripture). Their lack of faith and love drove me and another sister away.

So, like you, I am now learning that there is balance. We must continue to have faith in the Lord and His word–not believing in our own words or in our own faith. We also cannot “demand” anything from the Lord, but we are to marvel at His graciousness and His faithfulness when He answers the prayers that are according to His will. We have to know Him and be conformed into the image of His Son (painful process, such as it is) and then our wills will be His will and we can be confident that He hears us and that we have the petitions that we ask of Him.

Isn’t this journey with the Lord wonderful? I am in awe that He loved us enough to snatch us from that which was false so that we can know Him in spirit and in truth. We have to continue to pray for those who are our true brethren that are still caught in that mess. We must be ready with our own testimonies of God’s deliverance so that they, too, may have hope.

Blessings!

So, to use an analogy my Baptist-pastor dad used in sermons many times…be like the old cow at the trough, eat around and leave the brambles and briers and just take hold of the good stuff.

So it was recommended to me as well as my husband that we pursue hypnotherapy to aid in the non-pharmacological management of pain. Well, this is dangerous stuff for anyone, let alone a Christian…. After many years of thinking about it, I figured that I had nothing left to lose.

So I trained as a hypnotherapist (rather than go for hypnosis), and I learned a great deal. It really helped me take back a part of myself that I’d lost in many ways. But the real benefit to me was discovering how very much hypnotherapy is just like Pentecostalism.

What was wonderful about the initial stages of this training (though it was rough because I was the only verbally dissenting Christian in the class and I refused to do regression for religious reasons) was the pleasant and familiar message of thinking only good things. Before I delved into the deeper understanding of hypnosis and observed the lives of those who practice, I was able to appreciate the truly beneficial aspects of “naming and claiming.” I’m so glad that I was able to receive this message, and I gained a great deal of validation as a result of the hypnotherapy training.

And I was certified in the use of hypnosis for pain management during childbirth, so that was a wonderful thing as well.

It was another step in my process of what I call self-integration — or picking up all the pieces of what was left of my shattered self and letting God put me back together. A huge part of that was feeling safe about calling things that are not as though they were again, but with the balance of doing so in accordance to the Word and not out of conformity or under pressure from authority. It was a wonderful gift to receive those things back without any fear, for I no longer served any guru or step-by-step plan.

(And I learned yet more techniques of manipulation along the way.)

I’m so glad that hope has reintroduced itself to you again. Isn’t it wonderful?

And if one is right, the other must be wrong.

The spiritual abuse that says “you do not know your Saviour”, “you do not know your Shepherd’s voice”, “you can’t trust God”, “you can only come to the Father through His “anointed one/apostle/leader/pastor” etc…” – these things are wicked, vile abuses.

It is because of this abuse that I no longer believe in “church” (small c). I believe in, participate in, and a member of Jesus’ Church (big c), and still know the fellowship of the Body, but church as an institution is a hutful, abusive and horrible place – we have strayed so far from the early church model. Until we let God alone govern the churches, people will continue to be abused; smouldering wicks will be snuffed, and bruised reeds broken.

May Jesus be glorified in the Church – and in us!